I never thought that a children's book could hit me so hard until today. I was listening to my nephew read a book called The Cool Bean by Jory John and Pete Oswald. The book was about a little bean going through high school. He was never picked first and always ignored. Then one day he realized that the thing that made people cool was not wearing the "right" clothes or swaggering through the hall. It was simple things like smiling and helping someone up if the fell or reminding you what the teacher asked when you get flustered.
This book is a very simplified outlook on what high school was like for me. I didn't fit in or have the "cool" clothes. I thought for the longest time that I blended into the background so much that I could disappear and nobody would notice. I was almost correct. I did blend in but I learned later in life it was because of my choices. Sometimes I still feel this way and I need to take a minute and ask myself why it is I feel so alone.
I have major depressive disorder. I struggle with even the smallest things some days but I take time to remind myself that it has been worse and is only getting better. I learned that daily meditation is something that should be taught more. It is my biggest tool to combat all the darkness that likes to hide within me. I hope everyone, one day, can find a tool or method to work through their inner darkness and find peace.
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